What's in a story?
Most of us have intricate stories that never fully get shared. We go about life with our primary purpose of creating meaning and making sense of the world only to have the truth we possess only be half seen. Naturally, in therapy you get to share more of the depth of your story. You share how you see the interconnectedness of your journey and your inner landscape. It is for that reason that I think it only appropriate that you know some of mine.
Who Am I?
In the beginning the backdrop was always vibrant and sunny as I was born in Venezuela. Born into a family with a rich history of their Spanish and Latin roots. Growing up my mother shared her passions in expressing all sorts of creativity, vitality & care. My father an intentional & resilient individual in his approach to life. I still remember the scenes of my country of origin exploding in flavor of all sorts. Even though I was still young when we immigrated to the states, I remember how it felt. More than anything it felt like home.
This was my initial experience and insight into what life was. I witnessed the heart of latin culture and community and its purpose. It was a multiplicity of language both those spoken and those unnamed. Community was family and that held an embodied unapologetic practice of belonging. There was always laughter and always purpose. It was also about meaning making and knowing what you’re about as well as how you lived that truth. This idea was deepened by my family’s commitment to a spiritual life. I was raised Catholic and this additional framework just helped me ask more questions. It became a fascination for me; from how do we as people make meaning regardless of identity or religious background. I believed from early on that everyone lived out some kind of spirituality. Everyone makes sense of the world and attributes meaning to things that are important to them to have a full and happy life. (However, it can get messy sometimes. Religion that is.)
For as far back as I can remember I’ve been fascinated about the concept of love & relationships. Through the many years that the premise has held my attention, I’ve realized time and time again that communication is at its core. Loving in relationship with others is a language, as well as an opportunity, to discover ourselves in the midst of apparent disconnection. This is what really encompasses my entire way of approaching therapeutic work. We are all in some sort of relationship with ourselves, each other, and with our environment.
Due to my latin roots and experience, it’s been important that hospitality is without question at the heart of my approach to life and to therapy. This is another part of relationship. It’s that aspect of welcome and encounter in the present that shapes much of my entry into sometimes challenging work for clients. It also shapes how we as partners, lovers, and adventures through life can be present in connecting with the needs of others.
In therapy and life, I am quick to see the evident and seek to name what I see. This isn’t without challenges but I also think life is too short to keep ourselves from the truth especially when our road to healing can take serious time if faced without distraction. I often work with clients who are blazing their own trail. Rebels and movers in the world. Much of that requires us to look at the deeper skeletons that keep us from a life we’d love. Couples and individuals who want something more out of life. I understand the need for dissent as I’ve always needed to do things my way. I was constantly curious as a child; getting into things and asking people deep questions even before I knew what was actually happening. I was simply a very intuitive and unapologetically curious child.
On the road to becoming a therapist...
I started my masters program in couples and family therapy after almost a decade of directing retreats and working with people in spiritual and personal growth. I helped folks at that time make sense of major life transitions through emerging adulthood and their relationships. I wanted tools to give people and a new framework that would easily link what I had been seeing in groups and individuals over that last decade. Which is the defining reason why I decided to study couples and family therapy.
I also knew I had to be vulnerable and be on the other side of the couch to truly know what it was like to face what I had been avoiding. The therapeutic encounter was hard. I didn’t find the right therapist and I was often finding myself frustrated. However, it gave me real insight into what someone looking to heal and to grow struggles with in finding someone they can trust and jive with. Once I found one, there was nothing holding me back from really unpacking myself and making sense of the pieces that were out before me.
My passion continued to grow then as it does now about how people connect and how they want to make sense of their reality and the most of this life. I focused my studies and continued education on sexuality, compassion, relationships, conflict, connection, mindfulness, and various modalities toward personal growth. I’m still eager and fascinated the topics that we are struggle with as humans and I bring that eagerness and knowledge into my sessions as well as my personal experiences. Realistically, I believe what makes a good companion or therapist on this journey in healing is if they can connect the dots and examine themselves regularly by doing their own work that they expect their clients to do as well.
This work is always a deep learning for anybody in the therapy room. As a person of color, who works regularly with BIPOC folks, sometimes in two different languages simultaneously, I see the struggles that many go through in reconciling the multiple identities they carry. This is not just racial identity but also sexual, spiritual, and many more identities that we all manage.
This multiplicity of identity is something I encounter in therapy every session because life is made up of transitions but in modern society it’s an accelerated series of transitions without a clear beginning or end point. They are happening all the time. It’s easy to let things snowball in our lives. So therapy gives folks a container for that and its one of the many reasons I love to provide such a space for folks to explore.
Ultimately, the feeling of home is what therapy is about. The goal is to carve out new understandings and come home to yourself. From there we then seek to build upon the safety and resilience that home creates. This journey is worthwhile because we are tired of living stuck in old patterns and perspectives. We want to carve out a new possibility for what life and our relationships can look like. Doing this means getting clear on who “you” were and now who “you” are committed to becoming. Life isn’t an “either, or” sum of choices it’s a “both, and” reality. Integration toward bridging these different parts of ourselves is the invitation to this work. This is my focus while I journey with people in therapy together.
